in the city: subway soundtrack

the futureheads.

2010-06-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

Energetic is a band called “The Futureheads.” With their speeding guitar licks, clever lyrics, fun vocals, and makes-you-jump rhythm they’re a fantastic live band. I caught their show on June 1st at the Williamsburg Hall of Music in Brooklyn. A bit skeptical of what their show might bring to the performing table after not one, but two (shaky) opening acts, I was blown away when finally “The Futureheads” took the stage. A red curtain behind them, they all got into place with their hipster-esque ensembles (complete with polo’s buttoned all the way to the top) as they began with “The Chaos” the title track to their latest album.

Hailing from the U.K., these four young men are a force to be reckoned with. Their witty banter with the audience during water breaks kept the show moving and the audience in tune. They all sang, which I especially enjoyed, because sometimes those damn “lead” singers take themselves a bit too seriously - but then again, it can’t be easy to run an entire show riding on one’s own voice and audience relationship. The pressure is off because “The Futureheads” work as a team and it made them more enjoyable to watch. You’re not sitting there thinking “I wonder when this guy’s going to shut up and get back to the music.” No. With “The Futureheads” the show kept a steady pace, the song intros were a joint effort (and not just “and this song is about, blah blah blah…), and the actual music? Phenomenal.

My favorite track of theirs is entitled “Heartbeat Song” with the oh-so-sweet lyrics “Your heartbeat song is good but it’s not the one. We’re singing out of tune, but I still want to sing with you.” A great song for anyone with that I-love-you-I-wish-we-could-be-together-but-it’s-just-not-in-our-cards sort of friendship.

“Struck Dumb” (my second favorite) starts with a nice guitar lick/pounding drums intro. The voices scream onto the scene and roll steadily into the beautifully crafted harmonizing chorus: “your negativity is ruining your sleep. It makes you want to cry on your pillow. Your negativity is cultural in your dreams, so say hello to something only I know, I’m struck dumb but I’ll give it a go.”

“Jupiter,” “Sun Goes Down,” and “The Chaos” also showcase the bands harmonizing vocals and lyrical quality, as the other six tracks round out this rock/punk/pop album nicely. Their fourth release, “The Chaos” is a brilliant album full of fun and fact. An album highlighting the everyday chaos of this very chaotic world we all reside in. Listen and enjoy.

The Futureheads on Myspace
The Futureheads Official Website
The Futureheads Twitter

The Futureheads performing “Heartbeat Song” on The Fly (video)

Mi hermanita.

2010-04-05T20:10:00.001-07:00

Family braggings part 3 of 5.

I did a lot of traveling this week. For the first time in eight months I returned to my family's home in Hayden, Colorado for Easter weekend - and only my mom and dad knew about the trip. I was excited about surprising my friends, but couldn't WAIT to see the look on my sibling's faces when I walked through the door - especially my little sister Caroline's.

When I think of Caroline I think of sunshine. Her smile lights up a room, her laughter makes you feel warm, and her kindness and innocence makes you want to cry. She is the most sincere, loving person I know. And she may not know it but she's taught me so much about how to love. And on top of all that, she's got a very unique, wonderful sense of humor and she's the most creative person I know. Her affinity for storytelling and artistry is magnificent and I know she will be successful in whatever she chooses to do. She's got nothing but good coming her way, and I couldn't be more proud.

So... I had it all planned out - I'd get to the airport around 8:30 Wednesday night, my dad would come pick me up, we'd drive the 3 hour trek home, then I'd walk in the door around 11:30 or so to my three unsuspecting siblings (two sisters and a brother) and I would then be bombarded with hugs and laughter and excitement. However, this plan did not come to fruition as Delta airlines (the crappiest airlines in the biz) delayed my flight from New York to Minneapolis, therefore I missed my connecting flight to Denver and didn't touch ground until 10:55 Mountain Standard Time.

By the time my dad and I rolled into Hayden it was 4:00 am. I tiptoed quietly to my old room and gently slipped into the covers and feel asleep. The feeling of being in my old bed was so peaceful and sublime. Knowing that I was in a house full of people I'd die for and who'd die for me gave me the best sleep I've gotten in a long time.

The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face and in my heart. I began to make my way up the stairs when I spotted my little, 10-year-old sister rounding the corner from the laundry room. I was frozen. I was startled by her height and budding beauty. As she made her way up the stairs I said "Caroline." Waiting for her to turn around she kept walking until she registered the mystery voice and did a double-take. Her mouth dropped and she ran towards me, jumped on me, and gave me the tightest, warmest hug I've ever gotten. She kissed me on the cheek and nestled her head on my neck. The joy I felt in that moment was unexplainable. I felt alive.

I love you Caroline. Never stop smiling. Ever.

alice in unwonderland.

2010-03-10T08:28:00.000-08:00

After paying $17.50 to see the over-hyped Tim Burton rendition of the classic story, "Alice in Wonderland," my friend Caleb and I had more fun talking about how horrible Anne Hathaway was and how bad Johnny Depp's makeup was than the actual movie.

Then we spent a little time in a wonderland of our own: traipsing around Midtown.

Mi papá.

2010-03-05T09:14:00.000-08:00

Family braggings part 2 of 5.

Isn't it interesting when you reach that stage where you see your parents not just as your parents, but as people? And in my case, my parents are really cool people. I know.. I'm blessed.

Recently my dad came to visit and was here for five days. It was a very surreal experience, having my dad as a guest in my home. Our days were filled with eating lots of food, having great conversation, and introducing him to all of my friends here in the city. Everyone loved him. I don't mean that they said things like "Oh, yeah, he's nice." It was more like "Wow, your dad is awesome! What a great guy! He's so friendly and down-to-earth." And it's true... my dad is an extremely kind, caring, down-to-earth person. He doesn't take himself too seriously and is a funny, intelligent, artistic man. He loves the comfort of a well-written book, and has a better understanding of the true meaning of art more than anyone I've yet to meet in this artist driven city.

But one thing I love most about my father is his ability to love people exactly where they are. He can see past someone's pain, someone's anger or someone's facade into their being and is able to appreciate them for everything that they are. He truly enjoys each relationship he has with people, knowing that each one in is important in its own special way. Just as he enjoys to admire artwork and literature, he can see the beauty in humans as individuals.

I love you dad. Hopefully I'll see you soon. And know that I appreciate everything that you are as a father and a human being.

You.

2010-03-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

"You" has become my favorite word in the English language. It’s such a common word, but such a powerful, personal one. It can have unsurpassable warmth or devastating impact.

I love you.
I hate you.

It rained today. The drops were light and misty and although I walked in it for quite some time, I managed to stay reasonably dry. I love New York in the rain. The way the water on the pavement reflects the brilliancy of street lights, I swear I can hear a jazzy saxophone playing in the distance. I’m thinking about you today, and missing you so much, my heart wants to burst. I try and think about something else – my hungry stomach, my cold hands – but nothing can distract for too long before my mind ventures back to the warm thoughts of you.

a long walk.

2010-02-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

Walked from 155th street to 42nd Street. Then got on the 6, where I transfered to the L. Got off the L in Brooklyn, where I then followed Bedford Ave all the way to the Williamsburg bridge. God, I love this city. Along the way, I saw so many different neighborhoods, people, and shops. It's so funny how just a few blocks can make such a difference. This city is diverse with every turn. A perfect long walk, on a perfect New York day.

queens.

2010-02-09T22:40:00.001-08:00

Today I spent the day with my good friend Slava. We walked from Jackson Heights to Queensboro Plaza taking pictures and having great conversation along the way. And no matter where you are, as long as you're with the ones you love, you'll always be happy (as Tatiana, Slava's mother, so wonderfully said).

Today I saw the real New York, the New York I moved here for. Real and true and full of life.

typical.

2010-02-08T20:09:00.000-08:00

I can't explain exactly what I mean, but I'll try:
TYPICAL...
Why live there with everyone else?
It's such a typical, supposedly enlightening thing to do.
But why do they bring me such confusion?
Am I supposed to be like them, like glue?
Glue sticking to the norm,
Glue sticking to the masses?
Their so supposedly enlightened,
but they all have the same glasses.
Yet, they must not work,
because they cannot see,
That they are all so typical,
So plain
So not... free.
And
It's so typical because I keep asking why?
Why did I lose that, it was so true
It's such a great thing because even still,
I lost it and now I can find it with you.
But I'm afraid cause I know I will
Keep remembering what happened.
Over and over I'll play it my head,
And
It's so typical of me,
Of my brain to be like a broken record.
Replaying each day, analyzing each second
Questioning each word, each movement,
Each sigh...

And
It's so typical of me to want this,
Yet, all I find is me standing here alone.
But this time, it's not so typical,
At least for me,
Because this time
I want to be here
All by myself,
Just me,
On my own.

can't help it.

2010-02-05T22:16:00.001-08:00

You can't help your feelings,
As wordly as that may sound,
When you feel this way,
There's no way of telling yourself to just
calm down.

At least not me,
I can't do that.
My feelings aren't connected to a switch,
That I can just turn off at the drop of a hat.

I wear them on my face,
I wear them on my sleeve,
People know what I feel,
Just by looking at me.

In a way that's my art,
My ability to be,
I feel I'm always real,
Always honest and therefore free.

However, I know with your help,
The confusion caused will subside,
And I will eventually with time,
Begin to feel back to feeling full of not only love,
but life.

But doesn't love equal life?
Or do I have it wrong?

doorman.

2010-02-01T17:55:00.000-08:00

You stand alone at the door,
Letting us all in,
But who've you let into your heart?
Anyone?
Do you have any friends?

Your loneliness is seen,
From these city streets
And inside I break,
When I pass your door each week.

You have no expression,
Just a blank stare,
But I know of you sadness,
Of your empty heart, I'm aware.

Clothes fresh, starched, and clean
Yet underneath,
Your heart is
Longing to be seen.

Now tell me, lonely doorman,
As you open the door for me,
Who've you opened your heart to?
The heart you want to be seen?

a poem.

2010-01-26T22:16:00.000-08:00

Having fun with poetry lately. Random, aimless thoughts all jumbled up together to create something lovely... or at least I think so. This latest poem isn't about anyone or anything in particular, but rather a collection of recent self-discoveries.

a moment of epiphany, a mind finally at ease with the truth -

It's been a while,
You've been out,
And I've been here
Staring out this window

And the truth is
Since you've been gone
I can see
And clear

It's not us I want
Or that thought I need
It's me and my thoughts
That now can be

Be happy
Be content
Be at peace with what's here
What's going on now

So when you return
I won't bother you with that question
Anymore

mi hermano.

2010-01-21T22:18:00.000-08:00

Christopher. A name that means so much to me. A name that brings to mind strength, comfort, laughter, smiles, warmth, and happiness. Whomever I meet in this life, if you're name is Christopher, I'll like you right away (until you prove to be unlikeable, of course). Being the name of my younger brother, Christopher is a name that's like music to my ears. My heart smiles when it's spoken, and I wouldn't feel this way, if my brother wasn't such an outstanding human being. Never have I known someone so kind, so amiable, someone so funny, so comforting. He's a jewel of a person, and he's going to be an amazing man. So, Christopher, this post is for you. I love you with every thing in me. Don't ever forget that.

PS Call me.

PPS Stay tuned for more "family braggings." 1 down, 4 to go.

i'm a mimic.

2010-01-20T09:58:00.001-08:00

my room.

There's something about a ratty street billboard that gets me into a excited frenzy. It's not so much that I like the content of the billboards - it's constantly changing, and it's not really anything of interest that often - but I love the slapped, thrown-together look of it all. It reminds me of my room in my parents house. I spent days upon days, tearing my favorite photographs out of magazines and plastering my ENTIRE room with them. I've always found myself to be a collector.. Mentally I collect images, accents, traits, body movements - and I mimic these things. If I meet someone who speaks a certain way - with a lisp, an accent, etc - I notice that after spend any length of time with them, I begin to speak the way they do. Same with body movements - If I'm around someone too long that likes to tilt their head a certain way while they're listening, or moves their hands a certain way while they're talking, I notice that I start to do the same. Not that that makes any sense, but I think in a weird way, it's related to my obsession with giant collages.. it's a way for me to pick up on several different emotions, ideas, art, all at the same time.

i bought a camera.

2010-01-19T20:54:00.000-08:00

I bought a camera so I'll be posting a lot more pictures on here. I'm glad that I won't have to upload them from my cell phone anymore.

I like hanging out with myself. I enjoy my thoughts, and being able to be alone - it allows me to see inspiration. Being away from friends is good for crafting, sorting, and ultimately creating.

Thoughts, Poems, and Catch Ups... random, aimless thoughts, I'm sharing with you in exchange for your forgiveness for not keeping up with this mishmosh of a blog....

1... A thought - "You made a little bit more sense to me today. I saw you in a light I don't normally get to see you in. You have an extremely endearing quality, that makes me feel for you, not in a pathetic sort of way, but a "wow, you really are a human being with feelings, I didn't realize.""

2... A poem -

David you're my twin,
Can I be what I am
Just because you are
who you are?

Now knowing where to begin
Your passion
Your heart
Has given me
a head start

I love that you love this
As much as I
I don't have to explain
I don't have to say why.

3... A thought - Don't take this personally, but I think I love you.

new york city.

2009-10-05T20:02:00.000-07:00

Today I fell in love.

I've heard that sometimes couples fall in love with each other over and over again, loving one another a bit more each time. That's how I feel about my love for New York.

Today was my first day off in a while, and I spent it roaming around the city. I decided to not take my iPod with me, but instead have the life around me be my music for the day. I listened to children laughing and playing in a schoolyard... I listened to the cars stream by me... I listened to the wind gust between the buildings, around my hair and face. And, I fell in love.... again.

It wasn't the usual love I had felt for this city: awe, wonderment, curiosity. It was more. Because now that I've lived here for a while, New York has an even bigger place in my heart because of the people I know. Life is nothing without relationships, and it's because of those relationships that I've fallen more in love with this amazing city.

And all I can say is, I can't wait to fall in love... again and again.

obsession 1.0: jem.

2009-09-30T21:47:00.000-07:00

I have an addictive personality. If I like something, let's take a movie for example, I'll watch it over and over and over until I just can't watch it anymore. Same with foods: if I like a certain brand of chips, I will devour them every chance I get, until my stomach screams "STOP!" However, my addictive tendencies manifest almost 90% of the time with music. If I get obsessed with an artist, I'll listen to all of their music until I am just plain sick of it. Same with albums. And same with songs. I once listened to a song 452 times in one week, that's how much I loved it. Don't ask me why I get this way, I can't explain it.

Anyway, every now and again I'll be posting my latest obsessions. Sometimes they last a couple of days, sometimes they last a couple of months. I once listened to one album and nothing else over and over and over for two months straight.

Ok, ok. You get it. I love music. Now, back to my newest obsession. I first heard this song at work and when it played my heart would smile and I got butterflies in my stomach. You know a song's good when it gives you butterflies. So I typed the lyrics I could remember in my Google search engine and voila, my new obsession was born. The song is called "It's Amazing" by Jem. I haven't watched the video, listened to her others songs or anything. I love the one song so much I don't want to spoil it if the video sucks or her other stuff is bad. As of yesterday, I've listened to it 93 times, and I bought it only three days ago. The words are very inspiring and this song is a total anthem of mind set as of late:

Do it now
You know you are
You feel it in your heart
And your burning and wishin

At 1st wait, it won't be on a plate
Your gonna work for it harder and harder
And I know cause I've been there before
Knockin on door with rejection (rejection)
And you'll see cause if it's meant to be
Nothing can compare to deserving your dream

[Chorus]
It's amazing it's amazing all that you can do
It's amazing it makes my heart sing
Now it's up to you
More....

Take a listen: "It's Amazing" by Jem

this is it.

2009-09-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

I just bought my tickets to the "THIS IS IT" documentary about Michael's last days with us as he practiced for his gigantic "This Is It" tour that never came to fruition.

First off, let me start by saying that Michael Jackson is one of my FAVORITE artists of all time. I think he was the most talented man that ever lived. His music, his short films, his dancing, and his undeniable creativity, and infectious presence is unmatchable. When I listen to Michael's music, it makes me want to literally leap out of my seat and dance until I faint. I am an avid fan and know most of his songs by heart. My favorites include "Leave Me Alone," "Black or White," "Dirty Diana," and "Thriller."

amazing song. amazing dancing. amazing. period.

Second, as far as his personal life goes, I don't feel that it's my business to know about it. It was because of people's insatiable curiosity that he never was able to live a normal, private life. Whether he was this or that, doesn't matter to me. All that matters is what I know for sure: he was a mega talented person who's gifts brought people together. From the massive success of the "Thriller" album, to the profound and moving "Heal the World," Michael had the gift of uniting people in song and dance.

Thank you, Michael, for all that you brought to this world. Your music, your talent, and your life will never be forgotten.

rock.

2009-09-23T05:01:00.001-07:00

Check out the write up I did for ShopWiki.com...

Rock 'n Roll music, a rebellious genre. A representation of people who dared to pound the drums a little louder, dared to crank the guitar a little higher, and dared to sing with more passion and vigor. It's a genre with a ton of energy; a genre that gets you pumped up; a genre that gets into your very soul. It's probably the purest form of music out there today. It's not doused in electronic beats and synthetic sound. It's raw. It's edgy. And that's what makes rock, rock.
continue...

electric tickle machine.

2009-09-22T17:58:00.000-07:00

So Jessi, from Goldest Egg, sent me a new album from an up-and-coming band. I opened up the press packet and my initial reaction to the album cover pic was "What the fu**?"

ANYway...

After I got over the "oooookkkaaaaaaaayyyy?" I asked of the cover, I cautiously set out to listen to "Blew It Again" by Electric Tickle Machine. (The half-nipple hanging out the half-sweater is a bit.. um.. pointless? stupid? pretentious perhaps?) Anyway, like I said, after I set that aside, I listened to the music, and the verdict? It's actually pretty decent.

Electric Tickle Machine (energetic name for an energetic band) sounds like if Tom Petty met up with The White Stripes, and they ran into The All-American Rejects and Modest Mouse and they all threw a party together, with lots of beer. In other words: good stuff. My favorite tracks were "Fast Train" (an awesome tune with the perfect dosage of piano and some kick-butt lyrics) and "Part of Me" which has some great harmonious vocals and nice back beats (and I love the lyrics: "Part of me dies when you're not around, part of me comes to life when you're not around" simple yet catchy).

The title track "Blew It Again" is an upbeat, toe-tapping song perfect for walking down the street. The beat made me air drum walking down 18th today.. and I couldn't help but smile. I felt like my mind was running and my body was trying to catch up with it. It was awesome. "Honest Injun," (if Mr. White had a nephew in the form of a song, it would be "Honest Injun"... not a direct descendent but still gets the honor of being related. I really like Jack White, if you can't tell) is a great song if you enjoy a steady bass drum and a good tambourine (me! me! me!). "Find A Home" with it's acoustic vibes and "Ask Me Anything" with it's Beach Boy-esque intro (Yes, I'm speaking directly about the bah-bah-bah-bah-bah sung in unison) are well-crafted, catchy, fun songs. Garage-pop at it's finest.

I suggest checking them out. If you like pump-you-up songs and you don't mind album covers that make you ask WTF? (although I'm going to bet that's the intent), then you'll enjoy Electric Tickle Machine's "Blew It Again."

"Gimme Money" - http://electricticklemachine.com/gimmemoney.mp3
"Part Of Me" - http://electricticklemachine.com/partofme.mp3

muse.

2009-09-18T04:36:00.000-07:00

muse's new album is called the resistance.

Ok, I'm a bad fan. Muse, one of my most favorite bands of all time, has a new album out and I haven't even heard it yet. It's not because I haven't wanted to, it's on my list of priorities at number one in fact, but I'm just so busy I don't have time to sit down and enjoy it like I need to.

Muse is the sort of band you can't just listen to in passing. They're best when listened to with a keen ear and a strong sense of emotion. I got hooked on them when I heard one of their songs on a BBC show about two years ago. After I first heard them, I listened to them everyday on my 30 minute drive to work for three months straight. I couldn't get enough of them.

There is something about their sound that makes me feel as if I'm not a part of this world; instead, I feel as though I'm floating in space, alone and at peace. Close your eyes and take a listen (you'll have to click on "play full song" to.. well.. play the full song): Butterflies and Hurricanes.

people.

2009-09-16T22:36:00.001-07:00

People. A broad topic. A complex topic.

I've been in the food service business for two and a half years, and I've learned a thing or two about people. And yes, there are the picky rude ones who are never satisfied, and there are the obnoxiously sweet ones who can never thank you enough. But despite the extremes, the general consensus I've gathered is that everyone, in their own way is beautiful.

At work, I've tried to train myself to see people exactly as they are. I try not to judge on exterior appearance or behavior. Instead, I analyze these things. I want to know why they wear the clothes that they do. Or why they're rude. Or why they're so nice. There's a reason for everything. And once I begin to peel the layers, in almost everyone I begin to see this beautiful being. Someone so unique that they can't be described. And when I began to see beauty, it makes me happy. It really makes you love life if you're able to find beauty in everything.

This analyzation that I do spills over in today everyday life. I find myself analyzing people on the subway, or people I pass on the street, or people I see working at the cash register while I buy gum.

Just last night, I was riding the train home from work and there were two girls, about my age, sitting across from me. Upon first look you could say they were "trashy." They looked like they were heading home after a long night of partying, there clothes were trashy with everything hanging out, their hair was teased, and their makeup was running. I sat and observed them. They were saying things like "Oh my god, that was sooo funny when you fell down!" And "I can't believe he said that!" "That guy was so hot!" "I am going to have the worst hangover tomorrow!" At first, they just made me laugh cause of how ridiculous and loud they were being.

Then the first girl asked the second girl, "Oh my gosh! What is on your arm?" And the second girl looked up to with heavy eyes and said "They're scars. I used to cut myself." The first girl looked back at her and with sorrow said "Why? Why would you do that?" The second girl went on to explain that her mother was diagnosed with cancer when she was very young and that it was a very hard time. She got depressed and had no self-confidence so she cut herself to take away the pain. And, what happened next made me smile. The first girl grabbed her friends scar-ridden wrists and looked her square in the eye and said "You are a beautiful girl. I love you so much and I think that you're amazing. Don't ever hurt yourself, please." They hugged.

The train stopped and I passed the girls as I got off the train, my heart warm from life's simplest but greatest of beauty's: a friend's love.

(Song of the day: take a listen)

i quit but i'm not a quitter.

2009-09-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I quit the cleanse. It's not because I quit things (although I do have a horrible problem with procrastination) it's because this was something worth quitting.

First off, lemon juice, water, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup for ten days straight is not healthy. The fifth morning of the cleanse I woke up extremely light-headed, barely able to walk. So I quit. Then Molly texted me at work and told me that she was quitting too. She had done some research and found out that all physicians and nutritionists say NOT to do this cleanse.

So, take my advice: eat food.

day 4.

2009-09-13T17:48:00.000-07:00

I'm depressed. It's day 4 of the Master Cleanse I can barely function. I've heard that it gets better after day 5 but I feel that I'm too impatient to wait. I don't have any energy and I feel like my body is shriveling beneath me. I work part time as a hostess in Chelsea and working there for the first 3 days of the cleanse nearly killed me. I have to watch people order food, smell food, eat food, be satisfied with food in their bellies... and I just can't take it anymore. Plus, on top of everything else, the cleanse drink doesn't taste too great. It's lemon juice, distilled water, cayenne pepper, and grade B maple syrup.

Please wish me the best of luck as I struggle to find any meaning in life without fried chicken. I don't know if I can stand to pass another bakery or cafe again. I may clobber an unsuspecting eater with my starving stomach.

Ok, ok, it's not as bad as I'm making it sound, but it is hard. Thank God I have Molly or I would have quit on day 2. She's been telling me "You can do it!" because it really will be good for me. I need to get rid of some toxins in my body. I'm not typically a healthy eater and I hope that these 10 days will help my stomach think twice about french fries and maybe go for an apple instead.

Ahh, who am I kidding? I'm still going to eat french fries..... just..... not as many. There. That's fair to my body and my taste buds.

subway soundtrack.

2009-09-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

In New York, you come into contact with hundreds of people every single day and the majority of these people are on the subway. Whenever I listen to my ipod (which isn't too often because I usually forget my earphones) I'm amazed at how well each song can fit every subway scenario. Music is amazing that way. No matter the beat or the tune, it can somehow fit it in with almost every situation. For example, this morning I was transferring from the 1 train to the 7. When I got to the platform the 7 train had just arrived and all of the passengers were in a bustle as they made their way out. As I watched the people scurry to wherever they were scurrying to, Jack Johnson's "Wasting Time" began playing on my iPod. Time seemed to slow down as Jack serenaded me with "But everybody thinks that everybody knows about everybody else now now now nobody knows anything about themselves cause their all worried about everybody else

Wasting Time - Jack Johnson When I got on the 7 is was nearly empty and I sat in a seat near the doors. I looked around me at the people staring blankly ahead, their faces somber and vacant, their bodies swaying with the train when The Bravery's "Above and Below" came on. Sometimes I feel like I wanna leave this place for good under the ground I'll live down there without a sound and never hear these hissing voices all the same I'll disappear Causing living makes me feel ashamed

Above And Below - The BraveryThe train stopped and as I was getting off and walking towards the exit I had to maneuver my body around gads of people hurrying about. As I walked my feet moved in sync with the beat of "Billie Jean."

billie jean - michael jackson I smiled and then looked over the crowd and noticed everyone was in sync; we were all walking in a rhythmic group, together, in unison, as one.

My smile grew bigger and I felt warm inside. Those people in the station didn't know it, but music had brought us together for a tiny, special second.

jimmy.

2009-09-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

I hate to say it, but Jimmy Fallon + Late Night = No Good.

I've tried and tried to give good ol' Jimmy a fair chance at this late night stuff, but I just keep getting disappointed. He just doesn't compare to guys like Conan, Jay, David, and even Jimmy Kimmel. He just doesn't have "it."

I've watched a few shows and after about 10 to 15 minutes I'm cringing with embarrassment and I have to turn off the TV. It's a struggle to watch Jimmy's show as he doesn't seem very confident. He doesn't own, so to speak, his jokes. He says them and looks as if he nervously awaiting the reaction. He's very awkward in interviews and doesn't ask very interesting questions. Basically, next to daytime soaps, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon has to be TV's most boring show.

day 1.

2009-09-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

So, I decided to chuck the vegan idea out the window and go for an even more wild idea: the lemon cleanse. For ten days I will only drink this special lemonade type drink (ingredients include fresh lemons, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup). It's supposed to be really good for clearing out toxins and all of that. And on top of that, I'm not going to get on Facebook for the next ten days either. I'm addicted to food and Facebook... I think I may die. I won't be able to scarf a pizza!! I won't be able to update my status: "I just scarfed a pizza!!" But Molly and I are doing it together (we're each other's ACCOUNTABILIBUDDIES!) so having her as my "YOU CAN DO IT!" girl will help.

I'll keep you posted on my condition over the course of these next few days.

violated.

2009-09-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

As you know, I love many things about this city. However, there are some things that no matter where I go, New York and abroad, will always make me feel uncomfortable and violated. I'm talking about the "eye-rapers." If you're a woman, you know what I'm talking about. You'll be walking down the street wearing your favorite sundress and suddenly you realize your choice of outfit was all wrong. You wish you would've worn a big, giant parka to cover your body, even though it's the middle of July. These "eye-rapers" will stare at you, eye you up and down, walk real slow behind you, and some go so far as to shout at you. For example: "Hey sweet thing," "Ooh, look at you pretty girl," "Hey GIRRRRLL!!" and these are usually followed by a kissy face/sound.

Today a man walked right up to me, right in my face and shouted, "Hey Girl.. the only things I like are money and pussy!" I felt so disgusted that I wanted to choke him with my purse handles. How dare him? What gave him the right to get into my personal space and say those things to me? Would he like it if i did that to him? Well, probably. Pervert.

You know what I want to do? I'd like to hire a group of women to go out onto the streets and just shout profanity's at men all day just to see what happens. And if ever confronted, the women could just respond with "Well, then how do you think it makes me feel?"

Note to self: post idea on Craig's List.

PS Molly and I were discussing this issue and she told me about this documentary called "War Zone." One woman's documentary about how simply walking down the street sadly creates a war zone for women. Click here.

sondre.

2009-09-08T21:38:00.000-07:00

don't mind the un-photogenic girl on the left. (i was way too excited to care what my face looked like, obviously)

I love music. I love to play it, listen to it, write it, listen to it some more. It's an amazing sensation, listening to music. And when I listen to music, I listen to every detail of it: the deep bass, the pounding drums, the steady guitar, the constant voice.

One of my favorite artists who seems to embody brilliance, the quintessential musician, is the one and only Sondre Lerche. His music, his style, his words are combined to create the most unique sound I've ever heard. You may have heard his songs if you watched "Dan in Real Life." He wrote the soundtrack and performed the last number in the "Wedding" scene. This is where I first fell in love with Sondre's sensational sound and from there, I've compiled a growing list of favorite tracks.

His new album, entitled "Heart Beat Radio" debuted today; and Molly and I went to the Bowery Ballroom to see him for his first show of the tour. You can't beat live music and Sondre's performance was nothing short of impeccable. He really has a way of pumping up the crowd considering he didn't have a band, back-up vocalists, special lighting, anything. It was just Sondre and his guitar: raw, pure, real. His songs are great because not only are they musically wonderful, but the lyrics make my heart warm inside. He played a new one tonight called, "Words and Music." And although I don't remember the words exactly, I knew upon the first verse that this would be a song featured at my wedding. It was a great, harmonious exhibition of when two people are made for one another, they go as perfectly as words do to music.

Not only is Sondre very musically talented, but he has to be one of the most adorable human beings to ever walk the face of the planet. Period. That's all there is to it. Although he's a very attractive man, I wouldn't use suave or debonaire to describe him. He is simply adorable in the most complimentary way.

So, Sondre, thank you for your beautiful music and your charming adorableness. The world would be a darker place without your bright smile and talent in it.

being vegan = hard work.

2009-09-07T22:25:00.000-07:00

molly and me.. laughing. nothin' new.

After spending the entire day drinking coffee, chatting with Molly, and checkin my Facebook about forty times, we headed out to Astoria, Queens. Some friend's of Nick's and Molly's were throwing a roof bbq party in honor of Labor Day. Since I've decided to go vegan for the week (as Molly is a vegan and I'd thought I'd try it out) I had to tearfully say no to the delicious looking burgers and chow down on a tofurkey dog instead. They didn't taste half as bad as the name sounds, but I don't know if I can keep this no meat or dairy thing up for an entire week. I have to say no to fried chicken, buttermilk pancakes, mocha frappucinos, and worst of all.... my cheetos.

Okay I have to move on before I drool all over the keyboard.

It was a beautiful night, and from the roof we could see the beautiful Manhattan skyline. I enjoyed the company of all the guests and can't wait to have a party at my pad. ;)

Happy Labor Day!

them damn hipsters.

2009-09-05T23:45:00.000-07:00

A community of hanging tennis shoes in a Brooklyn "hipster" locale.

"Hipsters" are the people who are a part of the "hip" crowd; people who like to express their supposed individuality; people who are pretentious and have a bad case of pseudo-intellectualism. These "hipsters" wear crazy fashions, have outlandish hair-do's, and most of them are very gaunt looking. So, okay, "hipsters" have a certain style... there is absolutely nothing wrong with being fashionably bold. However, it's not just the fashions, it's the whole attitude behind the fashions. The I'm-so-individual-that-I'm-going-to-wear-my-shirt-backwards-to-make-a-statement-and-draw-attention-to-myself-while-pretending-like-I-don't-care-what-people-think-about-me attitude. They all walk around with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth, skin tight black jeans, a floppy shirt with a bunch of blabber written on it, specifically something sexual, and every single one of them thinks they are being original. Ironically and unintentionally, they've all managed to create an entire stereotype revolving around their supposed avant-garde lifestyle. They're all a part of something creative; perhaps filmmaking, writing, fashion, or music, but all manage to stay dilettantes. Most of them are living off of Daddy's money, so they're not really experiencing the life of a "starving artist;" although I'm sure most of them intentionally don't eat to look cool. And unlike a true artist, "hipsters" aren't passionate about their art but how cool they look when they're doing it.

my favorite roommate.

2009-09-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

When I lived at home I shared the entire basement with my sister. We had the perfect set up: our own bathroom, a giant space, and lots of privacy. My sister and I had some great times in that room. We danced and sang to our favorite songs, watched movies together, had some great conversations, and some brutal fights. A lot of the times the fights ended in my parents storming down the stairs and pulling us apart. But despite sharing everything, we managed to come out alive with a only a few scratches and scars. Ya know.. typical sister stuff.

Anyway, moving to New York had me very excited because I would finally have my own room. A place where I can shut the door and be completely alone. A place I can decorate and not have anyone complain about my Michael Jackson poster. A place where I can leave the light on as long as I want without someone shouting "Turn it off! I want to go to bed!"

But after getting here and having my own room, my own privacy, my own posters, I can't help but miss the comfort of knowing someone else is in the room with me, someone who loves me, someone who looks up to me. In other words, I miss you Laura. And, one day we'll share a space once again, only it won't be in a basement, it'll be in a little cottage in the beautiful English countryside.

twilight.

2009-09-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard of "Twilight" you're either dead or... dead. It's the biggest movie since "Titanic," but unfortunately not anywhere close to being Oscar-worthy. With lines like "You'd better hold on tight, spider monkey," I couldn't help but giggle, make fun of, and curse at the tv through the entire film. Aside from all of it's cheesiness and bad acting, I can recognize it's appeal. "Twilight," specifically Edward Cullen, has the ability to give you butterflies.. that heart caught in your throat kind of feeling. I must admit, when I first watched "Twilight" I too had those jittery "I love Edward Cullen!" feelings. However, the second time around I wasn't as swoony. I don't know how I missed it the first time around, but I suddenly began to notice how terrible well, EVERYTHING was. The dialougue.. crappy! As I said earlier: "You better hold on tight, spider monkey," is so terrible I want to vomit. Kristen Stewart can't act.. I was so sick of her touching her hair and making that scoffing noise that I wanted to punch my hand through the screen and strangle her. And, last but certainly not least, that idiot blonde dude vampire (James) is so horrifically horrible that everytime he came on the screen I thought I was going to die of laughter. His whole melodramatic acting and all of that was Terrible with a captial T.

I'm sorry, but they all look RIDICULOUSLY SILLY in the "fight segment" of this scene!! They look like retarded monkeys.. especially that blonde dude.

fashion diaper.

2009-09-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

these pants look heavy and saggy just like my baby cousin's diaper. huh.. attractive? i think not.

i'm sorry, i mean i'm all for good fashion and fun clothes and all that hooha. but this latest fashion craze has got me confused and every time i see someone on the street wearing these god-awful things i literally convulse with laughter. oy vey.

the boyfriend blurb.

2009-09-02T16:36:00.000-07:00

love may be hard to find in this city, but i believe it can be done.

Lately I’ve been delving into dating literature. You know, the books that are supposed to jumpstart your confidence, give you an insight into the male mind, and ultimately launch you into or back into the world of dating. Yet, all of these books seem to have a common thread of bitterness. When you’re first reading them the author seems hopeful and ready for the next round of “Mr. Wrongs” which will hopefully lead them to a “Mr. Right.” But about halfway through these books, the tables seem to turn and something happens to the writer’s voice. Bitterness ensues and you begin to find out that a) the author is so bent on finding Mr. Right that they’ve dug themselves into a hole of despair because they’ve mistaken Mr. Right with Mr. Perfect – who doesn’t exist – or b) their biological clocks are ticking and they just want to have kids and could care less if they marry Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong. This not only is depressing to read but sad to imagine. These poor women have lied to themselves and think that they have to get naked to show someone that they care. they’re blinded by infatuation that is disguised (in what might be a sexy body) as love. Therefore, they’re blinded from the truth, and although some men are only after one thing, there are men out there who do truly, want to give their heart and their soul to someone, and that someone could be you. I whole-heartedly believe that there are men alive and well who want to fall in love just as badly as we do (they just don't write as many books about it).

job hunting.

2009-09-02T16:21:00.001-07:00

me modeling my awesome new jacket! calvin klein... pick me pick me! yeah right.

today i spent about 4 hours searching every nook and cranny of craig's list for a decent job. after about 45 minutes of serious scouring, i threw in the towel and went crazy. i applied for acting jobs, modeling jobs, graphic designer jobs, advertising jobs, pr jobs, telemarketer jobs.... you name it. each one required a different resume and i surprised myself in finding that i had a resume worthy for almost every single one. that made my day, and if i get called back to model for calvin klein that'll make my week.

mecapade.

2009-09-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

my mecapade to the village. i saw some awesome coffee shops and little boutiques. and i really liked this marc jacobs mural.

since i've moved here, i've been taking little adventures i like to call "mecapades." if i have a day off or a few hours to spare i'll go do something or see something i haven't done or seen before. a couple of days ago i went to the MET, all by myself. i had a fabulous time! i didn't have to wait for anyone, no one had to wait for me; i could see the exhibits i wanted to see, and skip others... it was awesome. i love being by myself sometimes.. "mecapades" allow me to reflect, regroup, ponder my existence, and all that jazz.

street performers.

2009-09-01T11:02:00.001-07:00

a cellist in grand central. he was amazing!

jugglers performing in front of the museum of natural history.

street performers are awesome. from musicians, to poets, to dancers, even if they're not really that talented i'm still so proud of them for getting out there and doing it! you gotta give them credit, they have guts.

HOWEVER, not all street performers get my appreciation... the other day when I was at coney island with my roommate molly, we were eating our lunch peacefully, sitting on the boardwalk, looking out at the beautiful ocean. suddenly we heard this guy start talking over a loudspeaker, sayin all kinds of random stuff.. "i'm cool, drool, stool, you're a fool, if you don't, cause i won't, i like cheese, squeeze.." we were trying to figure out where it was coming from until we saw a man walking around right behind us with one of those microphones speaker set things.. ya know, you have the mic on your ear, and the speaker is around your waist like a belt.. anyway, he was really horrible and every now and then he'd interrupt himself and look down at his phone, text someone then start back up again. molly and i couldn't figure out what his point was so he didn't get any $ from us that day.

edward scissorhands.

2009-08-30T18:20:00.001-07:00

the other night, my roommates and i went to "movies with a view." it's an annual summer event where every thursday night you can go to brooklyn, underneath the brooklyn bridge, and watch a free, outdoor movie, while the lovely nightime skyline of manhattan sits in the background. check it out by clicking on this sentence.

this week the film was edward scissorhands. i had never seen this film before. i loved "big fish" but i'm not usually a tim burton fan (his animated stuff... it's always creeped me out) anyway, edward scissorhands was fabulous! i can't even explain why i loved it so much. i think it's because edward, even though he is very odd, is a very sweet natured character. he's got integrity, he's loving, and good-hearted. you fall in love with him, not in a romantic way, but in a you're-so-sweet-i-just-want-to-squeeze-you way.

at my fingertips.

2009-08-30T18:00:00.000-07:00

one thing i love about this city is the ability to get anything you need, anytime you want.

my roommate said that the other day he saw a man walking down the street with a fur coat in a dry cleaner's bag, another man pulled up in a car and asked "how much for the coat?" they discussed prices for a bit then the man in the car had a new coat, and the man on the street had enough to buy another one.

on a rainy day, you'll find people selling umbrellas everywhere.

on a sunny day, you'll find people selling ice cold water.

if i ever need a new book for the train ride, i'm bound to run into a bookseller on the street where i can browse through his selection that includes a wide range, from "catcher in the rye" to the holy bible to "windows for dummies."

when i was in the village today, i saw a man putting away his street side shop for the night. packing up all of his goodies, from cell phone chargers to fashion belts to sunglasses.

literally anything i need is right at my fingertips. if i wanted to i could leave my apartment right now with only $10 in cash in my pocket, walk half a block and buy myself "the worlds best chicken sandwich" (according to the sign), a new book (perhaps war and peace ya know?... a nice, light read) a fresh fruit smoothie (made by maria), AND a new pair of sunglasses (with DC instead of DG cuz their fakes.)

new york.

2009-08-29T21:37:00.001-07:00

i live in new york. the city that never sleeps. the big apple. the capital of the world. the center of the universe. among fine dining, rockin music, crazy fashion, etc. etc... i love new york's attitude. anyone and everyone fits in here. it's the city for outcasts, where no one is. the city where you can be a starving artist or a rich ad executive and ride on the subway sitting squished right next to one another. the city where you be whatever the hell you want.. on a day-to-day basis. the city that let's you be exactly who you are.